African Woman, Life Lessons, Rantics

Were bus drivers abused & traumatized as children?

Did their fathers drink too much? Commit suicide? Did their mothers have the victim syndrome? Or disappear in religion to ask for God’s help, because only he, could change her husband?

Were bus drivers bullied in high school? Icy cold water at 06:00 am to shock them into waking? Did the priest touch them inappropriately when they were altar boys?

Sorry catholic church, you saved my life & gave me an education without abusing me. But still, easy target is easy target…

I am wondering because bus drivers, not all, but quite a few, have a tendency, a basic instinct to be mean. I plan my bus ride via journey planner on or the app in my phone. The walk from home to the bus stop takes ~2min. This morning, the bus should ave arrived in 4min & leave in 5min. I had margins. BUT, one minute into my leisure walk, I turn the corner from home, should just take the steps down the pathway, say hello to the old man, Gunnar, our neighbour in the house opposite us. Gunnar is on a wheelchair and sits outside his house in the mornings to catch the morning sun. I can see Gunnar now and both of us start to smile our regular practiced smiles…..

I see the bus driving in. EARLY. I can barely hold my smile at Gunnar, waving like a crazy woman & screaming godmorgon (good morning)!! He waves back with a knowing smile, he has experienced this before? I run down the steps, fly by Gunnar’s building & arrive at bus stop 2min before bus is supposed to leave. But bus is leaving! 2min before planned time.

I am waving wildly, I can see that the driver can see me. He can still open the door for me, he is still within the bus stop limits. But, he. Just. Drives. Off. 1 & a half minutes too early.

The next bus comes in 8min. So I get to wait, with more certainty than Europeans have right now. I know the next bus is coming in 8min so all I loose is 10 minutes of my morning.

Who does that?! Considering the planning that goes into the morning routines! everyone knows how it is! It is like cheating. Like breaking a promise.

So who drives off too early like that unless they were hurt by bad people family when they were children & they are trying to payback to the world in their small ways???!

Life Lessons, Therapy Sessions

Busy doing nothing and the nothing ruins your life?

First time his telephone was off, I believed him. The power went off and hbroken_heartis battery died. Bad luck. Coincidence. The telephone was off Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. Then I got an sms. “Baby, I saw your missed call and sms. The phone died. Will call later. Love. C”

Next time this happened was on his weekend away with his boys. That gnawed at me because I knew his friends. Same said “pling” on my telephone on Sunday afternoon. My suspicions began then. I asked nicely if he was cheating & when he said “babe, how can you think that of me??!” and he cried a little bit, I melted and told myself he couldn’t. He couldn’t. He could never.

A couple of months later, my telephone went off when I was away in Cape town with work. Battery dead. For real and no time to charge. He went bananas. Bonkers. Off the hook. Knots in knickers. How could I “LET” the phone die. And then have the audacity to go out for a drink with my colleagues instead of running back to the hotel to call him?

Me: “babe, it has happened to you twice the last 4 months. You know how it is?!”

C:  “Oh no, don’t try that on me. I know how women are. Some dude took you to his hotel didn’t they? Didn’t they? And you don’t even know them! How can you? Etc”

I hang up.

Next day I panicked that my very first relationship was ending because of a misunderstanding. I decided to fly home on Friday, miss the weekend planned with colleagues. I had to convince C that he was the one. For ever. And ever.

So I booked a ticket and at exactly 17:45, boarded and flew home. I arrived in Nairobi at around midnight, took a taxi to C’s place. Knocked. Knocked. Knocked. Called out his name. Called out “sweetie”. Called out “baby”. For about 10-15 minutes.

His face showed up at the window. Not the door. The window. My heart sunk. It took 3-5 minutes, he opened the door. Looked surprised & started crying. Asked me to wait outside for a minute. 5-10 minutes more. He did not want to embarrass me he said. A girl came out the same door. Crying. “Where shall I go in the middle of the night?” He says “I don’t care, my wife is here now”. We were not married. We would never be married.

I took the girl home with me. He couldn’t take her back in because he wanted to prove to me that he had changed. Immediately. I wanted to go home because I had changed. Forever.